The Cheer Leading NIGHTMARE...HA I jk.

So evuryone, I had the worst weekend of life easily. Im being a little dramatic but it was full of things that I kinda of had to do. Nothing I really wanted to. I did homework while babysitting, then did absoulutely nothing on Saturday night. Chris went out with his guy friends, yes he could have chilled with me, but I do understand the bros before hoes analogy. As much as it does suck, but whatever.

Today I washed my hair the minute I woke up and complained about my dad leaving me because he basically made me breakfast because I forced him too and left. I tried to memorize my drama lines for tomorrow, and waited for my hair to dry then straightened it. (So much fun I know)

Rebecca and her mom came and got me around two, with Lisa already in the car. And Lisa and Rebecca had done their share of crazy parties this weekend, friday after the football game they had some fun, and saturday night Lisa went to this kid Brian's birthday party. So I was kind of the odd person out in some of our conversations since my weekend was like a weekend from the grandmothers diaries.

Cheer was exhausting. We worked on our dance and did more stunting. Stunting was hard because the girl Sasha who we lifted had only been a top so long ago, and hadn't done it very much so she was really kind of hard to lift and I felt like whining and crying because my spine was hurting me and my hands.

There was a parent meeting, the last half hour of practice, and my dad came early and saw the last little bit of conditioning. And he was laughing at me, at my attempted push-ups, and my v-sits. It was a little shameful. We picked up Chris on our way home and he stayed for dinner. It was nice but I;m beginning to think that I'm nuts the things that go through my head and my worries and everything. School is so hard. It's even harder that he is set on his guy friends and set on impressing them and what not. It always feels like with me he's using his homework as an excuse to get away but with them it 'feels' like he will do anything to work around it.

I need to get over it though, I can never put me before his friends but at the same time I don't want to mesh those lives together. I like his friends, some of them are my friends but they do such crazy shit and I know for a fact that Chris joins in. I just hate it, I hate getting involved and I hate knowing about it. Sometimes I just wish everyone would lie to me, and lie well.

He came over though, my dad made frickin pot roast. And then we went for a walk to this park by Afton Elementry and I got a huge bruise on my arm from the saucer swings. Then we kind of argued walking home, because Im a mega bitch. I know its me, but I sometimes wish he would just stand by the things he says and realize the things hes doing wrong like never telling me whats wrong, never listening to me when somethings wrong with me. I hate how he always changes the subject and says "I don't know what to say!" It makes me want to hit him and be like "How do my feelings make YOU Feel?" But it doesn't do much. He's just a stupid boy.

But not stupid. A boy. I feel so dumb I bought a movie on paper view, and instantly regretted it because he was enjoying it so much he didn't really want to talk during it, nor pay me much attention. So I was like getting in his face trying everything I could to get his attention and the lat 15 minutes of him being over I got his attention and felt ridiculously stupid afterwards. I was being really clingy and annoying. Sometimes I think I really need to work on me.

But I do my best. Hes gone home, his homework girlfriend awaits. (he hates when I say that, he groans and says that 'homework is important Kristen, it needs to get done!') Whatever, I know its true and I feel horrible after because in this order his life should be.
1. homework/school.
2. Bros, friends, fun.
3. Girlfriend
And I do truly believe thats what it should be. Like I know that in my heart, but I still get kind of jealous that they do come before me. Even though I know. GEEZ, I am so physco.

Anyways, I have fucking school tomorrow. I feel like crying thinking about it. I hate mondays.
Whatever.