THE WEEKEND

So, I'm not feeling to well. I decided that the way I've been eating isn't working for me. I eat when I can, trust me I try. It's not like im anorexic because I am most definately not. But I don't eat very much. The only things I ate before 5:00 today throughout the whole weekend was two peices of toast and some chili when I got to Chris's house yesterday. So everytime I have been eating after 5:00 my stomach is in shock and Im not feeling too well. I'm tired of being sick. throwing up this morning my mom thought I caught the flu when I was actually hungover. Fun.

Anyways this weekend's been weird, I've never cried so much in my entire life. I've never had so much fun in my entire life. I've never been so surprised by myself in my entire life. I've never been this big of a slut in my entire life. I've never felt like puking so much in my entire life. I've never been so sad in my entire life. I've never been so jealous of anyone in my entire life.

Alot of the time I really don't know what to do with myself. I cried so much I felt like this massive burden, I felt so annoying and pathetic crying on saturday night at daniel's sisters 18th birthday party. It was basically because of nothing, I blame Chris for things everyday and hate him for it. It's probably because I spend so much time trying to get him to see where Im coming from but he doesnt try to let me in on his feelings. He just plainly has nothing to say. All I can say is that if I ever see Sarah Pringles face in my life I will throw myself in front of very fast moving traffic.

And you don't have to know who that is. Because its irrelvant. What is releveant is that in drama tomorrow Elly is going to be talking like a rocket about how she got drunk with Chris. She's going to be running at the mouth about the fun that Sarah had. I'm going to want to shoot myself. I have to brace myself for tomorrow. I don't want to go to school so badly I can't even explain it to you.

But I love my boyfriend. I'm slightly heart broken. I'm slightly exhausted. I don't want to sleep. I want to read and stay up late, I want to sleep in tomorrow and I DONT WANT TO THROW UP ANYMORE!

This is such a rant. I can just picture the confused look on peoples face as they read this. On a last note, towards Dustin. MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY. Chris would laugh if he read that, so would fiona. OH


P.S Fiona was the most supportive person last night. I have been spending a really long time looking for someone like that to care about me and want that much for me to be happy. Not even Chris has been that backfall for me lately, since he's the one i've been crying over. The rest of my friends have been busy with life. I'm not in the fast lane. And I'm seriously scared about school, I did my homework today and barely tried at all.

Well, Bye.