A weekend with Parties?

I am bored. I have food stuck in my throat, which is slightly hurting me. My dad's birthday is tomorrow, so today after school I went to the mall with Lisa to purchase his gift. I probably spent 60 dollars on him. I bought him a CD, "The Best Of RadioHead", and the Killers new Cd. I bought him a really cute coffee mug set, and a nice new wallet.

I tried. I ran into alot of people at the mall, including Taylor which because of her I got my cinnamon bun half off because "I knew her", and I ran into Carson. We had a good long, sarcastic talk. That's our forte really. We've never been close but we do get into long conversations.

Also I am barely sad about Chris anymore because what hurts even more is the person he has transformed into and how I have completely missed it. I can't go into much more depth in that, because although I allow myself to go into depth about my life I can't go into depth about others. Adam Gill and I are trying to plan a party at my house this saturday, if my parents ever go away to Calgary.

Alot of things are going on I feel empowered because I finally feel like I am grasping my emotions. I'm still really sad, but I am learning to deal with it. I keep telling myself that things always get better, that people will let me down, but before that they might give me the best days of my life as Chris did this summer. I still hurt knowing that I am still so hung up on my emotions and so willing to talk about them so openly, but talking with my good friends the last couple of days has helped me realize that I really am not ready for a relationship. I don't even think Chris is either. Maybe he is, I don't know him that much anymore anyways.

I just needa chill! If this party goes down saturday I won't be chill, but I talked to Gage on the phone and he said its a good idea if they do happen to go away. So I will plan that and it will hopefully be a crazy weekend. Although my grandmother is coming up this weekend and I was planning on having a bunch of sleepovers and now I can't. Whatevs!

Peace!