Haha. Dejavu.

So this weekend has been interesting so far. I went with Elly last night to this place called Saltans Palace. We went with this guy named Aaron and another guy named Peter. It's a Huka bar. They give you Huka and you smoke it and then leave. You have to be 16 to buy it, and it isn't hard to try to look 16 since I will be 16 in a few months.

It was definately interesting. Makes your head feels so light, I remember Peter laughing and saying he was floating. It's like flavoured tobacco I'm pretty sure. It was fun hanging out with some people that I didn't know for a change. I like making new friends and what not. It was a bit awkward though since I didn't know Aaron or Peter so I just kind of sat there quietly the entire time and Aaron got sick from over smoking so we left kind of early and went home.

Anyways this morning is Saturday and I got up at like 8:30. I don't know why but I found myself waking up and lying in bed thinking about alot of things that made me really sad. Just things with 'voldemort'. I hadn't cried about him in so long. I just kind of broke down and grabbed my blankets and walked around my house for a bit. It was even still kind of dark out. I just feel a little sad today. Nothing ever really turns out it seems. I told Elly the other day that I feel like everyone is always out to get me.

This girl named Lindsay at Cheer has been making fun of me and Rebecca and Lisa aren't very understanding of me these days. Everything is a judgement. I feel like 'voldemort' has sincerely let me down. I hate him. I really do. I think of him and my blood just boils. He doesn't seem to give a fuck about me and it makes me so angry. Voldemorts new girlfriend makes me so upset. THe way she talks about me, laughs about my hurt. I had something fucking special and she doesn't even know me well enough to make fun of me for that. She doesn't deserve anything in my opinion and the world is making me so mad because they think they can just walk all over me. They think that they are all above me. And I am so tired of it. I feel completely lost because I don't know which people I should keep around.

I don't know if Voldemort is worth it. I feel pitied and pathetic and thats not something I want to feel in a fucking friendship. Whats the point of being there for him? I don't see it. I just don't. He has his fucking new girlfriend. Im so hurt man. It sucks so bad sometimes. Somedays more than others. I haven't really thought about in awhile but I'm fucking sad.

It's been two months okay, and I dont even know if I've been near to getting over it. Every single day I think about the summertime. It sucks. Its hard not to be mad at someone after that.

But I'm going to peace
Ttyl

XoKristen