So It's Saturday Afternoon. I just got back from shopping at Michaels with my mom. I bought a ton of stuff for Christmas gifts. I want to go into detail because the gifts are going to be absolutely amazing in my opinion. But I won't, to spare the surprise. I bought a gift for Caroline, Rebecca, Chris Liu and Chris Dafoe. Don't ask my reasoning behind any of this i just feel like I have to fix things lately and that's what I've been trying to do. This christmas thing is going to be a great excuse to 'fix things' although, I don't really want to go out for Chris Dafoe at this point but, whatever. That's the kind of person I am.
My day today has been very relaxing to say the least. I got a call this morning from the Manager at Sports Mart. I dropped my application off there on thursday, and I'm happy to see she called me back so soon. I really want a job just for the sake of having my own money. Picturing having my own cash makes me extremely happy. I have an 'interview' on tuesday. I'm a little stressed out but I handle pressure very well so I'm sure it will completely fine. My dad says that she'll say "oh lovely tall, beautiful, articulate girl. Your hired!" I laughed because he kinda has to say that, he's my dad!
I'm going to Twilight again tonight. I have to. I hate saying that I love Edward Cullen because I sound like a cliche to the rest of the teenage girl population at the moment. But reading the book I got very into it, and the movie was exactly how I pictured it when I was reading the Novel so I was very pleased and very pleased with their actor choice for Edward Cullen. He is very beautiful I have to say. He plays the part very nicely, and I'm so excited to see it even for the second time.
Last night I saw my great friend Zaina for teh first time in what seems like forever. We walked to Second Cup and talked about boys, her boss, her crush. (Literally, crush.) And toked a little. I feel bad for the person that I'm becoming sometimes. I always presumed that I'd be strong enough to handle peer pressure, and in a sense I probably still would be resistant to it if I had never dated Chris. That makes me angry sometimes, the person he turned me into out of the fear that I always had. I still try to smoke only once every couple weeks, Weed just helps me take my mind off things and get in a state of safety. It's something I'm not proud of. My dad would be horrified if he knew that because he has so much trust in me. The biggest thing is I'm not like the rest of them. I don't think its cool, I don't do it as often as I can, and I can easily live without it if I wanted to. I just feel like alot of the things that go wrong with me can have a quick fix just by blazing. I don't know, I've really lost myself but I'm starting to get back into a solid state where I'm not always contemplating everything. That's something that is very appealing to me.
Tonight I was supposed to go to a party with Ray, Rebecca, and Lisa. But its so hard planning things with Ray and I feel bad because I promised him that tonight I would run around and get crunk and not give a worry as to where I would be sleeping. I have been out of that scene for almost two months now, it never really occured to me that I had been missing out on a lot of parties recently I just...don't care.
I don't care about alot of things in fact. Some stuff that just makes me angry, I try to avoid. I went to Macs with Chris yesterday, had some decent talks. It still frusterates me because he doesn't trust me. I know he doesn;t. Anything I say would probably sound like I'm saying it to cause havoc. I don't. I can't care about him anymore it just makes me angry and unstable because I am not an important figure in his life. Anyways, I'm not going to get on that topic. I don't need this in my life.
So, my weekend is pretty basic. I have cheer practice tomorrow. I pray Lindsay won't be there again, but I doubt that will happen. I;m really cold at the moment so I'm going to go and slip on some comfy shoes. Peace!
XoKristen.
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