Time to let go.

So i guess I had a good day. I came home afterschool, had lassagna for dinner and went over to Morgans house so her sister could drive us to the mall to view Twilight. I'm going to say I thought it was hands down amazing, mostly because I read the book and It was exactly how I had pictured it which is always good to find.

I'm on my little Vista laptop right now, and the battery says I have about 20 minutes left which is a rough estimate so Im going to try and fit as much as I can into this small text box in the smallest amount of time.

Basically, I'm happy. I have alot of reoccuring thoughts about Chris though. It happens to me probably once every day during a class that I would find boring. Caroline thinks its weird that I still have feelings for him after nearly two months. I think it's weird to. There are so many things I feel like I need to say, but they arn't appropriate. He dumped me. All those things I wanted to say left with that too. the fact that I still think about it regularily makes me sad because I want to believe I'm a strong person. But I'm really not, and I am always fighting with myself when I think about him and all the things he said to me however many months ago, to how on earth it has taken us here and I get so fucking angry sometimes during the day htat things turned out this ridiculous. Then I see him and I remind myself how nice it would be to become friends. And that is why I still talk to him today and torture myself.

I have alot of good things about my day obviously but I just can't get over my brain and how it keeps working. Someday I promise you this will all be done with and I will find myself moving on and forgetting the things that were said. But for some reason I can't fucking let go. And it's taking to long. I am telling my recently broken hearted cousin all these things about how it gets easier with time, which is bullshit because even though it becomes less painful It still haunts me and people like Elly still think its okay to run at the mouth about someone I really care about and used to have something really well, special with.

It hurts to hear things too I'm not going to lie. And thats all people at my school do. They gossip. I find out things about her from all sorts of people. If I hear anything else I swear I will fucking scream.

XoKristen