So the thing is, I might finally be getting over Chris. I say that because it's unlikely that its happening but rather its just my imagination. I had a really negative day today. The entire time I just wanted to go home, and I felt like I was half asleep the entire time.
In gym class we had swimming which I absoulutely loathed. Swimming is fun, don't get me wrong. But the swimming cap that I braved with lisa in front of all of our peers didn't even work and got my hair sopping wet and I had to try and figure out a plan B the entire time because I had no hair products with me whatsoever. I just ended up straightening parts of it and pulling it back. If anyone asked me about it I just told them I was half Yeti.
So because of Gym class, I got a really shortened lunch hour. I was running around straightening my hair and applying makeup that I went halfway into lunch hour. Drama class went by incredibly fast. I'm singing a duet with this girl named Andrea. She is so amazingly talented it actually blows my mind. The song were singing is called White Flag by Dido. I haven't ever really done anything like this, the whole singing in front of people bit. We practiced in front of the entire class (basically) and I was so blown away and it was funny because she wasn't. She's been singing for awhile, and I just kinda decided I would put myself out there. It really did sound amazing though, our little harmony.
Science class whizzed by too because we did a ridiculous lab involving toy cars and measuring tape. (It's physics, not to hard to understand). When school was finally over Chris came over to my house for a visit. I swear, the closer I get to getting over him the less time I want to spend with him. That's how it is with me. If I completely get over a boy, chances are we won't be best friends forever. Chances are he'll fade away out of my life.
That makes me sad. It really does. Today was just blah. We hang out, and we barely talk because I'm so touchy, I walk him to the bus stop and then he gets on the bus, barely saying goodbye to me. You can't go from 'I love yous' and kisses on the forehead to this. It just doesn't work. I cried walking back from the bus stop because it was so cold and I just feel so empty. My relationships with people have less depth than a swimming pool. I really wanted Chris and I to be friends but the more time I spend with him I either want him back incredibly bad, or he just makes me furious and I want him to get the fuck away from me.
That won't turn into a friendship. What we have now, it's nothing. It's not a friendship to me, it's nothing. Everything he says sounds like hes doing me a favor because hes over me and I'm so intrigued by him. (obviously). I can't stand it. It makes me so sad. Knowing that my options are just going to end up in disaster. I really cared for him you know? I wish he had cared the same for me. Sarah just pisses me off. What selfish people. I am this annoying shadow that follows everything they do around. I am trying hard to not respond to texts, I am trying to ignore potential plans. I need to get out of this sad place. I spent saturday night crying into my moms lap for gods sake. She saw him over today and gave me the most unidentifable look I have ever seen.
Anyways, Swimming is a pain in my ass and I can't get it off my mind. How annoying it will be for the next two weeks. *Eye twitch* I hate my hair. As well I am completely obsessed with Twilight. It is not a comformist act in my opinion because it deserves to be loved. It is actually amazing and Its reminding me of the Jonas Brothers Obsession Summer 07, because I had no boy interests then, and none now, that my only logical thing to do is be in love with a (mise well be) fictional character.
Oh dam Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattinson is sexy.
In gym class we had swimming which I absoulutely loathed. Swimming is fun, don't get me wrong. But the swimming cap that I braved with lisa in front of all of our peers didn't even work and got my hair sopping wet and I had to try and figure out a plan B the entire time because I had no hair products with me whatsoever. I just ended up straightening parts of it and pulling it back. If anyone asked me about it I just told them I was half Yeti.
So because of Gym class, I got a really shortened lunch hour. I was running around straightening my hair and applying makeup that I went halfway into lunch hour. Drama class went by incredibly fast. I'm singing a duet with this girl named Andrea. She is so amazingly talented it actually blows my mind. The song were singing is called White Flag by Dido. I haven't ever really done anything like this, the whole singing in front of people bit. We practiced in front of the entire class (basically) and I was so blown away and it was funny because she wasn't. She's been singing for awhile, and I just kinda decided I would put myself out there. It really did sound amazing though, our little harmony.
Science class whizzed by too because we did a ridiculous lab involving toy cars and measuring tape. (It's physics, not to hard to understand). When school was finally over Chris came over to my house for a visit. I swear, the closer I get to getting over him the less time I want to spend with him. That's how it is with me. If I completely get over a boy, chances are we won't be best friends forever. Chances are he'll fade away out of my life.
That makes me sad. It really does. Today was just blah. We hang out, and we barely talk because I'm so touchy, I walk him to the bus stop and then he gets on the bus, barely saying goodbye to me. You can't go from 'I love yous' and kisses on the forehead to this. It just doesn't work. I cried walking back from the bus stop because it was so cold and I just feel so empty. My relationships with people have less depth than a swimming pool. I really wanted Chris and I to be friends but the more time I spend with him I either want him back incredibly bad, or he just makes me furious and I want him to get the fuck away from me.
That won't turn into a friendship. What we have now, it's nothing. It's not a friendship to me, it's nothing. Everything he says sounds like hes doing me a favor because hes over me and I'm so intrigued by him. (obviously). I can't stand it. It makes me so sad. Knowing that my options are just going to end up in disaster. I really cared for him you know? I wish he had cared the same for me. Sarah just pisses me off. What selfish people. I am this annoying shadow that follows everything they do around. I am trying hard to not respond to texts, I am trying to ignore potential plans. I need to get out of this sad place. I spent saturday night crying into my moms lap for gods sake. She saw him over today and gave me the most unidentifable look I have ever seen.
Anyways, Swimming is a pain in my ass and I can't get it off my mind. How annoying it will be for the next two weeks. *Eye twitch* I hate my hair. As well I am completely obsessed with Twilight. It is not a comformist act in my opinion because it deserves to be loved. It is actually amazing and Its reminding me of the Jonas Brothers Obsession Summer 07, because I had no boy interests then, and none now, that my only logical thing to do is be in love with a (mise well be) fictional character.
Oh dam Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattinson is sexy.
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