Hah fuck you man. FUCK YOU.

Wow, Have I had a trip the last 24 hours. Last night I went to Empire with Lisa, Rebecca and an old friend from Westmin, Marina. We got all dressed up, I borrowed Morgans massive purple heels and wore these super tight jeans and this silvery shirt and straightened my hair and applied makeup to the nines. All four of us looked dazzling in my opinion. So Empire is usually this nightclub that's in west edmonton mall. I didn't even know it was there, but it is. It's sooo fancy. I was actually blown away. It had this massive stage with lights and Djs and a dance floor packed with people and winding staircases everywhere with lounges and bars and everything. They have this thing called Team, or Teen night not sure which because I couldn't understand Rebecca, but its strictly for highschool kids. So they don't serve alchohol to us or anything. Most people drank and then went and were smashed the entire time.

When we got there we were under the impression that we could walk past the massive lineup and give them our tickets and walk in because those people hadn't bought the tickets yet. But, we had to wait outside because of the amount of people with tickets. The other stupid thing is to keep your coats and bags safely locked up its 3 dollars per item. So, none of us brought coats or bags or anything and waited outside in the freezing weather to get let in. When I got in I was actually amazed it was so nice haha, couldn't get over it. So we started dancing and getting all pumped up. I knew almost everyone there (That is a massive exaggeration!) but I saw like familiar faces everywhere. So I was saying hi to everyone and taking pictures and dancing. Like two hours in, I go and sit in this lounge outside of the dance room because it was alot cooler in there and I see Elly approach me with Chris' girlfriend behind her. I felt like crying and running and screaming and Elly has this really guilty look on her face and I'm like oh hello.

She told me that she wanted to talk to me and get the whole story about winter break. I was freaking out but she sat down next to me and said "Hi kristen, I've heard alot about you" And I felt so incredibly bad. I won't forget the looks on my friends faces either. Ironically enough before we left my friends said I looked like Whitney from the City with my heels on. Even more ironic, when his girlfriend begged me to tell her what went down and then Elly intersepted and asked me if it were alright and I almost cried she said "This is just like that episode of the City when they are in the art gallery and Alli approaches that Kat girl!" And I started like, laugh crying because the only difference was we were like in a Teen club and it was so loud I couldn't even hear my own voice so I was basically yelling at his girlfriend. I got really intimidated and nervous and they left, I'm a coward. Anyways after that incident I was very quiet and cried moderately because I was so scared and confused. So we went back to the dance floor, this girl Taylor Bye pretty much made my night because she was rubbing my knee and saying really really nice things to me that was just really what I needed to hear. So I went with the two of them and danced on the stage. (ON THE STAGE!)

The Dj's were like "All the ladies up front!" So we got up there and danced, and I was incredibly greasy. My hair was just a mess and my makeup was a mess and I was a mess. We got off the stage which was so much fun and eventually I ended up in that little lounge again to tend to my broken feet. My friend who I will keep nameless to protect the fantastic, was on pills or something so I was worried enough but surprisingly gave me alot of things to think about. He said alot of very blunt things to me about Chris and about my life and how I can't sacrifice myself anymore so he can be happy because he doesn't deserve it. Of course everytime he said something brilliant like that he'd stutter and say "but yeah nevermind" But he was right and I remember sitting there, probably looking like a hot mess, with Chris' girlfriend literally sitting across from us and I just felt like dying I can't explain it. She smiled at me and everything, I was awestruck at how nice she was to me.

Later on, after the whole thing was coming to an end and I went to say bye to Elly, who was sitting with his girlfriend I gave Elly a hug and her a hug. Imagine that. I gave her a hug. I told her we'd talk about it when I wasn't drenched in other peoples sweat and she wasn't drunk. (She had a little flask with her) I have to admit though, I felt alot better that she had faced me and I had got to speak with her, somewhat. She seems alot less terrible now, and it doesn't hurt as much to imagine her with him. I felt bad though she was talking about how if he was lying to her than shes just a fool to be with him and stuff. Everything just sounded like a mirror of the emotions that he's caused me to have and even though I know how much he likes her, I kind of imagined he would treat her better than he treats me. But I guess he doesn't.

So when I got home she facebook messaged me and I told her what happened and we were sending parapgraph messages back and fourth about how we don't deserve it and how we deserve better and all of that. This morning though, after I sent frantic messages to Chris he responded asking me what happened and I told him. Sometime down the line today, his girlfriend called him to call him out on what he's done to the both of us, and when I sent him messages nervous at how he was feeling he told me I was fucking annoying. And I quote "you are so fucking annoying"

I actually can't believe him. Does he not see how hard I tried to save his relationship with someone I don't even know, for him who I feel so much hatrid towaards most of the time. He's unbelievable. She might give him another chance though, we talked about it this morning. If i were her, I probably would. I just couldn't let him go, I never could. It's ridiculous. I feel so hurt by the things he said to me today about how happy he was with her and it's hard to imagine how he dumped me so quickly. It seems like the time I spent with him when he were nice and caring was so short. I'm really quite crushed but at least now I know her and know a bit about her. As for him, I am so done. I have been so mistreated I can't even believe he took it out on me and called me annyoing. Like I'm trying to help fuck you.

Fuck you.

XOkristen