Happy New Years

Happy '09 People! I was probably the own person in Edmonton last night that didn't want 2009 to come. If I could I would have pressed "Pause" and then just live in that moment for the rest of my life. I don't have any new years resolutions, I didn't even spend new years with a bunch of people that I'm close with. I had the most ridiculous last ever last night, and I can't get over how stupid my Christmas holidays have been.

I mean, I am truly heartbroken. I am so sad I can't even tell you. Not only was I in fear the entire night last night that I'd run into Sarah, I also almost died of frost bite. We went to Moxies which is right behind my work for dinner. I already ate, so it was kind of retarded. It was probably the only highlight of my evening. I should have spent it with different people though, I only say that because Rebecca is very defensive and if you stick her with Lisa and Paulina there is alot of bickering and bitterness in the conversation. We were laughing and picking at fries and calamary. We always try to fool the waiters that were 18, but I don't think we fooled him. When we left from there we walked to the bus stop and took the bus all the way to the mall and back to my house.

It was ridiculously cold, so cold that I can't believe I kept my spirits up as much as I did. Waiting for the bus was painful, and then when we got back into our neighborhood we split up because Rebecca just had to get different socks and make herself beautiful. The taxi's were all fucked up last night because it was new years, so calling for one means it can take up to an hour for one to arrive. We waited and it was actually on time, we drove around looking for this ridiculous party. The adress was wrong, so the taxi like, dumped us out by the wrong house. We found some other people we knew trudging through snow through the streets in mobs looking for this party, when we found it the person who was throwing it had already kicked everyone out.

It was the most frusterating thing of my life. We were outside for like an hour and it was probably minus 30. When we finally decided we would go back to my house and figure everything out we had met up with Zaina so there were the five of us on the verge of tears because we were so cold.

We got back to my house and stampeded in there towards the fire place. I had mega bad frostbite. We went upstairs and got ready for whatever we thought we were doing. Rebecca had her little shot cup and was playing drinking games while everyone got ready. And then this girl Kelly that I work with texted Zaina since they knew each other and told her she found a party, but it happened to be the one we had just been at. So she and three other people including her boyfriend Paul showed up super drunk and stumbling around my bedroom. Everyone was getting pretty drunk and high by that point and her boyfriend Paul, the only one with a car, couldn't drink because he was the designated driver. Lisa apparently found a party in Wolfridge, (who knew where the fuck that was) And got the adress and what not. So we called a taxi because there was eight of us; Paulina, Rebecca, Lisa, Zaina and I. And then Kelly, Moira, Catherine, and Paul. The taxi company said it could take up to an hour or an hour and a half for a taxi to arrive. It was 11:00 by then. I remember Paulina, drunk, was lying up against the wall laughing saying "We'll get to the party right after midnight! It's perfect!"

So we all pulled together this brilliant plan to do two different trips. Paul would take one group, and come back for the rest of us. But on his way there, the taxi company called Paulina back, who was with the first group, currently with Paul and said the taxi arrived. It only took 15 minutes. So we got in the taxi and drove to this second party. It was really far away. Like very far. Like almost outside of our city far. It was a 30$ cab fare. We got out, found a huge group of kids coming out of another taxi, the same group from the first party.

We found the house, and when we approached it this girl was exiting the house in hysterics screaming that Michelle was going to kick her ass. So we get in there, and we're about to go down into the basement and at this point there is like 20 minutes until New Years. We get in and this ridiculous short girl is standing at the banister screaming at us and I'm kinda like wtf, because I was so out of it, so far away, really didn't want to get kicked out again. She's screaming that if we didn't get out she'd knock someone out, someone would get a black eye. I got kind of scared, so I opened the door, fully ready to sit out in the cold again and call the taxi company. Rebecca and Lisa emerge from the black basement where you can hear shouting and music and this girl is still yelling "We don't fucking know these bitches!" And Lisa says "I was already here" And disappears back into the basement.

That made me really mad. I thought I would be kicked outside again. So I went outside with the girl that was in hysterics and asked her if she wanted gloves or anything, she didn't have a jacket. Looked at the time, ten minutes till New Years. Then the door opens, and the guy that actually owns the house says "Come in, it's fine, its New Years" I should have hugged him.

We went downstairs, found Lisa and Rebecca and Paulina, crawling all over me hugging me and saying glad I made it. I was still kinda pissed at Lisa. The angry chick climbs up on this chair and yells that there is 2 minutes till New years and turns on the countdown. Everyone is yelling to shut the fuck up, and scary drunk guys were going insane shouting to sit down. We all sit down, and countdown and scream Happy New Years!

I was happy for a brief moment there. Some people I don't even know came up to me and hugged me, and Rebecca and Paulina kissed me on the cheek. Just after we arrived, we called another Taxi and left. It was actually borderline ridiculous. I didn't have alot of fun. I was miserable the entire time. I was confined in my own mind, bad things kept happening and I was just pissed off.

I still can't believe this is all happening. One thing is definite though. I am not taking risks with Parties in the winter any longer. I was so cold last night, I was so desperate I contemplated knocking on someones door. I was so cold. And sad. And heartbroken. It never really ends.

So, school in three days. Hell in three days, fear in three days. So scared. Dam, I am in such a bad state of might right now. But what can I really do.

Happy New Years.