More Happiness, Chocolate Cheesecake, and the worst employee ever

I feel immensley happier than I have been feeling today. I mean, for a solid three days no words have been said that are in any way heartbreaking. I feel better, again I know it won't last so I've spent my time bracing myself.

Elly doesn't hate me anymore. She never actually did, it was just my insecurities and fear of losing her that I assumed that she did. Now at least I'm a little less fearful of going back to school. The only thing though, that thinking of school makes me think of Chris and then I feel quite a bit more emotional. But, I'm not going to give up. I am determined to find a commonplace between him and I. Just being good friends and not having people worry about what our motive is. I feel like I'm being restrained. Again, I miss him.

I was supposed to work today, but after texting Matt I decided not to go. It's a long story, but Kim just kind of guilted me into working some extra hours. Technically, it wasn't a shift. I feel a bit bad, only because I got Matt to tell her I wasn't coming. I should have called her myself, but picturing her running around the store frazzled changed my mind about that one.

I watched Twilight again last night with my father. I have fallen even more in love with Edward Cullen now that I am on the fourth and final book. I am an incredibly fast reader when I'm into a book, and I'll be sad when I finish this series. Then all I will have to look forward to is the amazing movies to come!

Anyways, tomorrow it's back to the chopping block. Christmas break's been weird for me. Kind of like none of it was real. Frozen in time. I have cheer tomorrow for the first time in two weeks, and I have to get down to all my science homework that I got assigned on the last day before the break. I'm excited to get back to my life, but I'm scared. I really really want things to be normal between Chris and I, and Elly and I, and just the rest of the peoples relationships that I have pulverized.

*sad*

I'm getting a new phone this week though hopefully, something to look forward too.

XoKristen