Mathematics, Tanning, and My father...

So I don't know what it is, But lately my father who for most of my life with divorced parents has been my best friend, has been my most annoying, irritating and frustrating enemy. It's sad because I don't really understand what has changed. I was contemplating whether maybe he is just turning into an old man, and because he hasn't found complete happiness maybe hes turning a bit bitter. Or maybe its me, just successfully graduating into my annoying teen girl years even though i've been a teen almost three years, and becoming more and more selfish.

But I'm not sure. The thing with my father is with every single thing that comes out of my mother is either;

a) Disrespectful

b) Victimizing

c) mean

Everything I say he either goes into a ridiculous rant about how I'm being disrespectful to him as my parent. Or I am being mean to him and cutting him down and making him the victim.

And when the time comes that I just give up and mumble fine, he tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself. I literally cannot stand him and it's strange to have my mom becoming my best friend and someone I respect and try to avoid fighting with instead of my father. He is becoming the most annoying person in my life right now. I love him to death but I haven't done anything differently and it's like he just doesn't give me a chance.

Somehow I thought maybe it was because of the judgements he makes about all my friends. I usually agree but he rags on Chris all the time and Rebecca, not really 'ragging' but just making jokes at their expense, like he knows them. And I started to tune into what he says, about how he's such a know-it-all, and I have caught him a few times being wrong. I used to think he did know it all, but now I'm not so sure. He can't possibly know the reasons for Chris's doings, nor can he possibly know why Rebecca is distancing herself from me.

Not even I know that and she's supposed to be my best friend. And I'm still figuring Chris out. So anyways, tomorrow is Thursday. I praise the lord for the four day week. Good news with my math class, I have a spot in Math 20 Pure next year. I am going to study hard the rest of this year, because my teacher has praised me and brought my mark up from a 59% to a 60% just so that I can be qualified for this class next year.

Math stresses me out. I guess I didn't do as well on that Unit Exam as I thought that I did. ON ANOTHER NOTE, 4/20 is this upcoming monday. I think its ridiculous. Everything and every kind of stereotype I have ever had about smoking was that it was extremely addicting but fun and interesting and new. It's none of those things. Weed is the most pointless thing I could ever come across. I feel bad about lying to my father about doing it, but I think he would probably not give me a chance to explain how little I need it. How it doesn't really do much to me, and isn't THAT fun, and I could definitely be told to stop today and never do it again.

And I am going tanning tomorrow, for reals! I get tanned really easy once I get a base but it took me ten years last summer to get a base and I am not doing that again! Because I was starting to get brown in September and then it snowed. So, Fail!

XoKristen