"If you don't crash, your not going fast enough"

1. "If you Don't Crash, You're not going fast enough"
   
   This, a quote from a fellow grade nine student at Westmintser Junior high. I'm starting off this blog with that quote, because it reminded me of a few things in my so far good life. The reason it caught my eye so severely I believe is because it reminds me of another analogy that goes a little bit like "Live life to the fullest" Or "How will you know if you never try?"
   The whole thing about life in general is that it's always testing you, and pushing you to the outer limits. And usually, it gets you there. With a friendly push sometimes it even sends you hurtling over the edge of those limits. But if you never try, you can never succeed. Even the best moments and best times of your life will come with some bad ones, and the bad ones would never have happened if you never took the chance.
   
   Being at Westminster again today, was alot like it was on friday. The same teachers are still there, the same little building and alot of the same little faces now in grade eight and nine. We got there pretty late, around 4. School had long been out by then of course. It was wonderful to see all of the previous grade nines gathering around the front doors like we all used to. Except this time, we had already left. It was a bit surreal seeing everyone. Some with their 'Shep' sweatpants, their JP volleyball jackets and what not. It's hard to imagine all of these people being anywhere but Westmin. Even being there myself. I know that we were sort of a magical 'crew'. I don't say that because I just loved our grade, but the group of people that we had were so memorable and fantastic. At the same time that grade nine year seems so fucking distant and far away, it also seems so close. It wasn't that long ago that I was sitting in the sun next to Jesus boy with Chris Dafoe and Chris Liu. Thinking about things like that, brings me to tears. I miss those days so immensely it drives me crazy sometimes, going to Shep everyday where your just a speck on the windshield of a fast pace life.
   
   Westmin had never seemed so small. The teachers have never seemed so unlike teachers before. With their "It takes some getting used to" Or "the world is big our there" I figured out soon that the principal of Westmin, the new one at least who replaced the Fox is a huge dick. My first reason, is that it was around 4:30 and I whipped out my phone to check the time and the man doesn't know me at all says to me "Do you want me to take that away and send it to your highschool so you can pick it up there?" I was about to say
   
2. First of all, I don't even go here anymore so you don't really have this immense right to tell me what to do.
3. This is not 'your' school. It's been 'yours' for how long? A month and a half? This is a hundred times more my school then yours.
4. It's after school you retard of the sea! Classes have been out for about an hour and a half. What do you expect me to get up to on my phone?
5. GET BACK MOTHA FUCKA YOU DUN KNOW ME LIKE THAT
   
   

Well, that doesn't sum it up in the least. Because he also told Keltyn that barely any people went to Victoria Comp, which is sorta a huge diss on her part. He said kind of like it left a bad taste in his mouth "I heard you guys were quite the crew" and I was about to say "You have no fucking idea how awesome we made this school" And he told Jordan Chiu that "No electronics of any type are allowed in Westminster anymore, you know how whiny kids get about that kind of stuff" And we just sort of gawked after him. Two seconds after he walked away Jordan said 'I ain't taken out my earphones' and I felt like saying "I bet you ten bucks Mr. Principal you brought a cellphone to school today....dick"

LOL well now that I got that out of my system. My favorite part of every september/october at Westminster had always been the retrieval of the yearbooks. This year there were a small few of us that came to visit and pick books up but I did get a few signatures. It was awkward at first, when certain people handed me their yearbooks. Like Chris for Example, who at first he wrote in mine "O HAI" and I wrote in his after a huge wave of disapointment hit me "We have alot of memories don't we...." But later on we both realized we wern't being exactly fair considering everything we had gone through. Couple or not.

So he changed his, and I changed mine. I'm going to copy them down in here so I can smile at them years later. I will try to get the writing like theirs and even the color! Because I provide for your entertainment like that!


"Jordan Chiu"

"Heres to the three years or more like eight awesome ones! I love you so much you have always always been there for me and I couldn't imagine it without you. You are the best friend forever and no matter what I say or do that will never change. Goodtimes. Love you. (Rebecca)"

"Hey Kristen! Oh good times in grade 9. Lol we have fun.
xoCassandra"

"Kristen Huggett!
Omg three years ago we met in art class and I am so grateful for it. I love you sooo much. You have always been there for me and oh gosh so much to say BFFL-->
Lots of memories, and I know there will be many more to come.
(L) Keltyn"

"I guess I'll try again! We've been through good times and bad times, but I want you to know you made my summer and year amazing! I'm glad I met you, and we should definately be friends forever!
-Chris Dafoe
:)
O HAI"

Oh hai! Those are my few signatures. I dunno, I am getting satisifed with my life these days. It's a process. Anyone that tries to tell me I'm being negative I will hit them because I am proud of myself for at least trying to handle my own life. I'm sort of happy where things are falling and how the leaves are turning. I don't want to lose anyone, but I don't want anything to end on a bad note. I want to remember things for how they were, rather then dwelling on the fact they ended. I want to smile thinking of Summer '08. I want to laugh when I ever drive by The Rio Terrace Community Hall. I want to shrug whenever I hear the name Sarah Pringle. I want to be happy. I don't want to be bitter. Sasha from Cheer told me

"Kristen, the one thing you have to make sure of is that you never become bitter" at the time, I was wallowing in my own tears and agony because Chris' volleyball had been on my top ten list of worst nights ever. Course, after she told me that I went home and cried my eyes out and the next day I told about eight people I wanted to kill Chris and that he was a huge dick. But I don't do that shit and say all those pointless things because they're true. I say them because I was hurting, but I see now that they're not acceptable. It just brings me back, makes things worse. If I really want a friendship with this person who seems to be taking up a big part of my life when they shouldn't, I need to back up, get out, and move on. It's his life not mine.

Kristen
xoxo.